The first few weeks back at school can be harder than many parents expect.
The excitement of a new school year can quickly turn into tiredness. Early mornings, busy classrooms, homework, friendships, new routines and the pressure of keeping up can leave children feeling physically and emotionally drained.
After a couple of weeks, you may start hearing:
“I don’t want to go to school.”
“I’m too tired.”
“Can I stay home today?”
“I’ve got tummy ache”
For parents, this can be worrying and frustrating. You may wonder whether your child is simply tired or whether they are experiencing school anxiety.
The important thing to remember is that there may be more behind those words than simply not wanting to go.
Why can school feel overwhelming?
Going back to school requires children to make a big adjustment. Even children who enjoy school can find the return to a structured routine tiring. They have to concentrate for long periods, interact with other children, follow instructions, cope with expectations and manage their emotions throughout the day.
For some children, there may also be additional worries about:
- Making friends or fitting in
- Being separated from parents
- Homework or schoolwork
- Tests and exams
- Speaking in front of the class
- Bullying or friendship difficulties
- New teachers or a new school
- Making mistakes
- Feeling that they aren’t “good enough”
- The school environment itself
Sometimes children can explain exactly what is worrying them.
Sometimes they can’t.
Instead, their anxiety may come out as tears, anger, physical complaints or simply:
“I don’t want to go to school.”
Is it tiredness or school anxiety?
It isn’t unusual for children to feel tired after returning to school. A few difficult mornings don’t necessarily indicate a significant problem.
However, if your child’s reluctance to attend school continues or becomes more intense, it may be worth exploring what is happening underneath the behaviour.
You might notice that your child:
- Becomes anxious the night before school
- Struggles to get to sleep
- Has frequent tummy aches or headaches before school
- Becomes tearful or irritable on school mornings
- Repeatedly asks to stay at home
- Worries excessively about school
- Becomes quieter or more withdrawn
- Experiences a noticeable change in their usual behaviour
These signs can have many possible causes, so talking openly with your child and, where appropriate, their school can be an important first step.
How can parents help with school anxiety?
The natural response can be to reassure your child quickly or encourage them to “just get on with it”.
However, children often benefit from feeling that their worries have been heard before solutions are offered.
Try asking gentle, open questions such as:
“What is the hardest part about going to school at the moment?”
or:
“Is there anything happening at school that’s making you worried?”
You don’t have to have all the answers.
Sometimes simply knowing that a parent is listening without judging can make a significant difference.
A consistent bedtime routine, enough sleep, time to prepare in the morning and opportunities to relax after school can also help reduce some of the pressures children experience.
How can hypnotherapy help with school anxiety?
Hypnotherapy may be helpful for some children and teenagers experiencing anxiety, worry or a lack of confidence around school.
Hypnotherapy uses relaxation and focused attention to help individuals explore their thoughts, feelings and responses in a calm environment.
Depending on the child’s needs, sessions may focus on areas such as:
- Relaxation and calming techniques
- Building self-confidence
- Managing anxious thoughts
- Developing positive coping strategies
- Feeling more comfortable in unfamiliar situations
- Improving feelings of self-belief
- Preparing for situations that may previously have caused anxiety
The aim isn’t to simply make a child “want to go to school”.
Instead, hypnotherapy can help them develop tools and strategies that may make difficult emotions feel more manageable.
Every child is different
There is no single reason why a child might not want to attend school.
For one child, it may be tiredness and the difficulty of getting back into a routine. For another, it may be worries about friendships, schoolwork or confidence. For some children, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be explored with appropriate professionals.
This is why taking the time to listen and understand what your child is experiencing is so important.
Hypnotherapy should be considered as one potential form of support rather than a replacement for appropriate medical, psychological or educational help.
If you have significant concerns about your child’s wellbeing or school attendance, speaking with your GP, school or another suitably qualified professional can help ensure they receive the right support.
You don’t have to face school anxiety alone
Watching your child struggle with school can be incredibly difficult as a parent.
It can be tempting to think that you need to find the perfect solution immediately. But sometimes the first step is simply understanding what your child is experiencing and helping them feel safe enough to talk about it.
If your child is struggling with school anxiety, confidence or worries about returning to school, hypnotherapy may be one option worth exploring.
If you’d like to find out more about how hypnotherapy could support your child or teenager, get in touch for a confidential conversation.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is school anxiety?
School anxiety describes feelings of worry, fear or distress connected with attending school or situations associated with school. It can affect children in different ways, including through emotional, behavioural or physical symptoms.
What is EBSA?
EBSA – Emotional based school avoidance – generally refers to a child’s significant difficulty attending school, often associated with emotional distress. It can have a number of different causes and should be explored carefully rather than treated simply as unwillingness to attend.
Can hypnotherapy help children with anxiety?
Hypnotherapy may help some children develop relaxation skills, confidence and strategies for managing anxious thoughts and feelings. Suitability depends on the individual child and their circumstances.
How quickly can hypnotherapy help with school anxiety?
Every child responds differently. Some may find certain relaxation and coping techniques helpful relatively quickly, while others may need more time and support. A qualified practitioner should discuss the child’s individual circumstances before suggesting an approach.
What should I do if my child refuses to go to school?
Try to understand what is behind their reluctance rather than assuming they are simply being difficult. Talk to your child, communicate with their school and seek appropriate professional support if the problem persists or is causing significant distress.