The summer holidays can feel like a wonderful break from routines, early mornings and packed lunches. But as September approaches, it’s completely normal for children and teenagers to feel nervous about returning to school.
For some, it may be a few butterflies in their stomach. For others, the worries may feel much bigger—especially if they’re starting at a new school, moving into a new year group, facing exams, navigating changing friendships or finding the return to routine overwhelming.
The good news is that there are several simple ways parents can help.
Start the conversation in a light-hearted way, but don’t make it an interrogation. Sitting side by side for these conversations, rather than face to face can make them easier.
Try asking open, relaxed questions such as:
“How are you feeling about going back?”
“Is there anything you’re looking forward to?”
“Is there anything you’re a little worried about?”
Listen without immediately trying to solve the problem. Sometimes, simply knowing that someone understands can make a worry feel much smaller. Help them separate worries from facts
An anxious brain can quickly turn a small concern into a much bigger one.
“I won’t know where my classroom is” can become “I’m going to get lost and everyone will laugh at me.”
Gently bring the worry back to what is most likely to happen.
You could say:
“I can see why that feels worrying. What do you think is most likely to happen?”
Then help your child consider what they could do if the situation they’re worried about actually occurred.
Re-establish routines gradually
Late nights and lazy mornings are some of the best things about the holidays, but suddenly switching back to school hours can make the first week feel even harder.
A few days before school starts, gradually move bedtime and wake-up times closer to normal. Begin reintroducing breakfast, getting dressed promptly and following a more structured morning routine.
The aim isn’t perfection. It’s simply to make the transition less of a shock.
Prepare together
Having everything ready can remove unnecessary stress.
Organise uniforms, bags, PE kits, stationery and other school equipment before the first morning. If your child is particularly anxious, talk through what the first day is likely to look like.
The more predictable something feels, the less frightening it can become.
Be mindful of your language
Children and teenagers are highly sensitive to the emotions of the adults around them.
Try to avoid phrases such as:
“There’s nothing to worry about.”
“You’ll be absolutely fine.”
“Don’t be silly.”
Even when they’re well intentioned, these comments can make a child feel that their feelings aren’t valid.
Instead, try:
“It’s okay to feel nervous. You don’t have to feel completely confident before you do something.”
That’s an important message.
Focus on coping, not avoiding
When we’re anxious, our instinct can be to avoid whatever makes us uncomfortable. Unfortunately, avoidance can make fear stronger over time.
Instead, help your child take things one small step at a time.
They don’t need to feel fearless. They simply need to learn:
“I can feel nervous and still do it.”
That’s where confidence grows.
And remember…
The first few days back at school don’t have to be perfect.
There may be tiredness, tears, irritability or a few difficult mornings. Give your child time to settle back into their routine.
Reassure them, listen to them and remind them of the things they’ve successfully managed before by giving examples of previous challenges that they have overcome.
If anxiety becomes persistent or overwhelming, or starts affecting sleep, school attendance, friendships or everyday life, don’t hesitate to seek additional support.
A little nervousness is normal. Learning how to manage it is a skill that can stay with your child for life.
A little reminder for parents
You don’t have to take your child’s worries away.
Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is sit beside them while they experience those feelings and help them discover:
“I can handle this.”
Here’s to a calm, confident and positive start to the new school year!
NewMindedHypno—helping children, teenagers and parents develop calmer, more confident minds.